Desire to Regret

 By now I must be

little more than an ache you

once felt

I miss you so much but

It was written from the

Start that I would disappear

That I would stay only as long as desire

I was the devil sent to tempt

You with forbidden lies

I was the apathetic god 

That sent the devil so I

Could watch with disinterest

I am the lie that anything

Exists on the path from desire

To regret

I keep you near only

Until you love me

Until the intensity overwhelms

The light and dark burst

From your chest

I am blinded and choked

Clutch my throat

Fall to my knees

Press my head to the pavement

I must leave so I

Might die alone

Remove my mask

Fade into anonymity

The winter will melt

I will become that ache you feel 

Somewhere between sin and misery

While I seek a muse to hear my confession

Your scar that tells the story of me

Fades to nothing

Never

I choose this medium
Sometimes I never want to
Promise an ending
I envision the light and shade
The hunger
For the lie of the canvas
Painted the many hues of gray
A beauty that never came to be
Repeat Deeper
An impotent scream from high
Beyond our understanding
I curl into a ball
At the base of the mountain
And wonder why I would imagine
Such a desolate place

Experience

When do we cease to
Be aware?
All experience is memory
Death is the end of
Memory
How long before
Does everything go
Dark?
A second?
A minute?
A year?
Will we experience

Death?

In the Park

 I sat on the bank
Watching the creek
Flow
The lines pop out
As waves move
Past rock and rural
Debris
Leaves rustle
Overhead a bird
Lands on the other
Side
I am overcome
With how alive
As the world
Pulses around me
Tears sting my 
Eyes and I am helpless
Burdened
With how little I matter
Yet waste my life
Anyway

12/10/21

A Quiet Mind

A quiet mind
Nothing to say
No opinions
No stories
A terrible waste
It is an unfortunate state
It is the price
However
For a quiet mind

Bugs

Just a few bugs to work through
Or so I thought
The persistence of one
You know the one
Nags at me
A high pitched buzz in my ear
An itch on my back
Where I cannot reach
Throwing chaos one wrench at a time
Slap yourself
A futile gesture
The bugs will remain
At least though
It's only a few
Just a small few

If

If I follow this prompt
I might not skip today
If my coffee is ready soon
The words that appear on this
Page might be worth reading
If I can stay awake
The things that need to
Get Done
Might finally get done (but probably not)
If I can gather the remnants
Of a once promising life
Into a cohesive being of
Energy and Light
Facing the world with strength and power
If I had more words...